Elyssa's Mission: Who's Elyssa?

For one last I love you

by Melissa Malnati

As another day goes by, I reflect on all the change that occurs every day. From the simplest of things to the life altering experiences--each make me the person I am today.

When Elyssa left us, I knew my life would never be the same, and my outlook on how I went about living it would change forever. I was innocent and naive, without a care in the world. I lived each day never thinking about grief or heartache or regret, but most of all, never thinking about suicide as a reality.

It hit me hard, and when I least expected it. I never even got to say goodbye. I never got to tell her how I felt, or how much our friendship meant to me, or the different ways she impacted my life. And worst of all, I never got to tell her I loved her one last time.

To me, Elyssa had her whole life set. She was smart, funny, gorgeous, caring, generous, honest, and real. She knew how to make people smile; she knew how to get people thinking about things that most people never considered. She knew a lot about life at such a young age, and she went through a lot of things that most kids don't, and shouldn't, have to deal with. Her thoughts of suicide were shared with a few close, trusted friends; but at such a young age, most of us didn't know what to do with the information we learned about her wishes and thoughts of death. If I could re-do a period of time in my life so far, I would go back to 8th grade: social studies class, right before lunchtime, to a specific conversation I had with Elyssa about her funeral service and whether or not I would attend it if she killed herself. I wish I would have taken her in my arms and hugged her tight and held her and never let her go. I wish I could go back and tell her I loved her. I wish I had left the classroom right at that moment and walked to the social worker. I wish I had taken her to her mom and dad and told them what I knew. I wish I would have done something more.

If I were to give someone the tiniest bit of advice that would go a long way, it would be that if you know or suspect someone to be having suicidal thoughts or intentions--GO, Right Now, and tell someone you trust: an adult, a counselor, 911. Don't hold it inside yourself because it hurts you, and it's hurting the person you care about. Don't let another minute go by; just tell someone. Hold that person in your arms, tell them you love them and you care about them, and tell them they are going to get help; chances are, deep down, help is what they want.

Elyssa is a light in my life, and she will always be with me. I think of her now and smile because of all she has taught me; not only when she was physically here with me, but even now after she has left. I want to help Elyssa by living out part of her dream to help people. I want to educate people about suicide, suicide prevention and sexual abuse so that no one else has to go through what Elyssa's family and friends are still coping with today.

I believe that Elyssa is in heaven, and I know that she is in a happier place now...but I wish she were still here now, making me laugh, because that's what she was best at.

I miss you, Lys. And I'll love you for always and ever.


		For one last I love you by Melissa Malnati As another day goes by, I reflect on all the change that occurs every day. From the simplest of things to the life altering experiences--each make me the person I am today. When Elyssa left us, I knew my life would never be the same, and my outlook on how I went about living it would change forever. I was innocent and naive, without a care in the world. I lived each day never thinking about grief or heartache or regret, but most of all, never thinking about suicide as a reality. It hit me hard, and when I least expected it. I never even got to say goodbye. I never got to tell her how I felt, or how much our friendship meant to me, or the different ways she impacted my life. And worst of all, I never got to tell her I loved her one last time. To me, Elyssa had her whole life set. She was smart, funny, gorgeous, caring, generous, honest, and real. She knew how to make people smile; she knew how to get people thinking about things that most people never considered. She knew a lot about life at such a young age, and she went through a lot of things that most kids don't, and shouldn't, have to deal with. Her thoughts of suicide were shared with a few close, trusted friends; but at such a young age, most of us didn't know what to do with the information we learned about her wishes and thoughts of death. If I could re-do a period of time in my life so far, I would go back to 8th grade: social studies class, right before lunchtime, to a specific conversation I had with Elyssa about her funeral service and whether or not I would attend it if she killed herself. I wish I would have taken her in my arms and hugged her tight and held her and never let her go. I wish I could go back and tell her I loved her. I wish I had left the classroom right at that moment and walked to the social worker. I wish I had taken her to her mom and dad and told them what I knew. I wish I would have done something more. If I were to give someone the tiniest bit of advice that would go a long way, it would be that if you know or suspect someone to be having suicidal thoughts or intentions--GO, Right Now, and tell someone you trust: an adult, a counselor, 911. Don't hold it inside yourself because it hurts you, and it's hurting the person you care about. Don't let another minute go by; just tell someone. Hold that person in your arms, tell them you love them and you care about them, and tell them they are going to get help; chances are, deep down, help is what they want. Elyssa is a light in my life, and she will always be with me. I think of her now and smile because of all she has taught me; not only when she was physically here with me, but even now after she has left. I want to help Elyssa by living out part of her dream to help people. I want to educate people about suicide, suicide prevention and sexual abuse so that no one else has to go through what Elyssa's family and friends are still coping with today. I believe that Elyssa is in heaven, and I know that she is in a happier place now...but I wish she were still here now, making me laugh, because that's what she was best at. I miss you, Lys. And I'll love you for always and ever.